Yes, I have been absent. On the road. Writing. Usually without an internet connection. Picking blackberries (see pic of fresh berries just before they went into a blackberry pie) Devlin III is coming along. I am holding Kat up in the wrap up of the final third of Global Swarming (I got sidetracked. Has nothing to do with rum consumption)  Dunkin III is written. Just waiting for the magic 3000 number. It might take a while, but rest assured I am pounding out yet more nonsense.

 

When I see the magic Dunkin III release sales bar nearing 3000, I'll stop somewhere and start recording. In the interim I will be gone for a couple of weeks or longer while I finish yet more novel-length nonsense. I know I have a hundred emails to answer, and I'm gonna get on it while I have an internet connection.Will attempt to record a clodcast soon.

 

 

 Before I depart, here is The Rumchug Chef's Pure Hillbilly Homemade Chicken & Dumplings recipe. HAR!

 

You will need:

1 chicken (Don't forget to take out the wrapper with the gizzard and toss that to the cat. Clean and Wash the chicken. Leave the skin on, you'll toss it later.)

2 garlic cloves

3 cans of chicken broth

1 medium size onion (optional)

1 quart buttermilk

3 cups fresh self rising flour

1 jalapeno (optional)

salt, pepper,

1 Bottle Rum (optional)

 

Get yer stewing pot... uh, I think it's an 8 quart or 12 quart. FIll it halfway with water. Make sure it ain't water from yer sin k. If ya get chlorinated water in yer food, well, it ain't fit ta eat. USE A FILTER or something. HAR! Pour in 2 cans a chicken broth with the water. Toss in the chicken. Add two teaspoons a salt and 2 teaspoons a pepper.Toss in the onion and the pepper, if you like yer food with a little zing like I do. Let that pot boil and give it a stir occasionally.

While that's boiling, let's mix the dumplings! Grab a large mixing bowl. Put two and a half cups a flour in the bowl, a cup of water and a cup and a half of buttermilk. Put the buttermilk away as from now on you only want to add water.  This helps make those lovely steam crevasses inside the dumpling. Stir vigorously. Add water as needed until your batter is the right consistency. And I'm gonna tell ya the right consistency. Stick in a spoon, scoop up a great dollop of the mix, turn the spoon over, and when the dough trails off the spoon and forms a teardrop before falling—it's ready.

Check yer chicken, if the meat is falling off the bone, remove the chicken, put it in a bowl, put the bowl in  the freezer. Now add the other can of  chicken broth, bring pot to a rapid boil. When it's boiling, take a spoon and dollop your dumpling mixture into the boiling mixture. Keep dumping in spoonsfull. They'll rise to the top, but keep dumping in more until yer bowl is empty. Stir. Lower heat. Stir. Grab the chicken out of the freezer. Pick the skin off and give it to the cat. Pull the meat off the bones and toss it in the dumplin pot. Don't forget to stir. Drop meat, stir. Repeat until ya got the meat in there. By this time, all that stirring has created this thick , grav y-like soup with large dumplings floating around. Yer ready to feast.

 

(for those who opted to use rum, that's for drinking while ya cook).

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       Spend the Six Bucks Ya iTunes-Slurping Reject Bastadges! 

Use This Thread To Make Yer Astute Commentaries On The Brilliant Comedic Quality of Zane Sickle

This is my 'His Girl Friday'.  Zane has everything. I'm not going to give anything away, because I enjoy the fact that just when you think things can't get any more whacked—they do.This is, hands down, the funniest thing I've written. And I have 300+ reviews that allude to the same thing. I keep them close in case anyone sues me for false advertising. HAR! Actually I read them occasionally. Zane has been called, numerous times, 'The funniest book I have ever read'. A mainstream, well-respected author (not Sigler. I can't name this guy because he's pissed at me. He sent me some early chapters of his next book and I told him the truth—start over. We aren't speaking now) But he said of Zane 'This is the fucking book I wish I'd written. If you don't laugh, constantly, you don't have a pulse.' OH! And let me add that I broke out every bad accent I could visualize to produce this audiobook. Enjoy! Laugh!

 

 

	Zane Sickle Comic Adventurer Part 1 of 2 This is the first half of the novel. It sells for 3.00. The second half is 3.00. So the total cost of the 10+ hour audiobook in mp3 format, delivered as a .zip file — is six-bucks. Once you purchase, within minutes, you will receive an email with a download link. Click that link to start downloading your file. Thank you! The Hack.
	Zane Sickle Comic Adventurer Part 2 of 2 This is the second half of the novel. It sells for 3.00. The first half is 3.00. So the total cost of the 10+ hour audiobook in mp3 format, delivered as a .zip file — is six-bucks. Once you purchase, within minutes, you will receive an email with a download link. Click that link to start downloading your file. Thank you! The Hack.

 

 

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New Clodcast 27 is LIVE! Polygraph short story included. Dunkin III Announcement! Zane about to go LIVE! Explanation of the stupid thermometer added to the right.

 

Clodcast #27

The Clodcast #27 'Zane and Dunkin III Announcement' DIRECT DOWNLOAD HERE:

 

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This is the NEW One Year Anniversary of my First podcast—Devlin Abnormal Investigations chapter one and two. Heh! Plus!!! Sinko De Marriage short story.

 

Clodcast #24

The Clodcast #24 DIRECT DOWNLOAD HERE:

 

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OK! These three accounts over on twitter.com are funny. Consistently funny; AND, aren’t peddling anything! Sure, the 12 million SEO experts who guarantee google number 1 ranking are funny, in a ‘the SEO experts finally succeeded in getting earth ranked on the Galactigoogle and they sent an asteroid this way to see if we’re a flash-in-the-pan-trending-wave and we’re one step closer to the apocalypse so I’m gonna laugh as much as possible” kinda way.

No, these three are just friggin’ funny for the sake of making you smile.

  HotAmishChick

 # Bio will show ankle for five minutes of wireless

But can I just say? The Spring collections this year are WOEFULLY short on bonnets.

Every time I meet a person who is mean when they don't have to be mean I remind myself that I have a pony and they don't.

Pfft. EVERYONE knows the dinosaurs died out because they couldn't fit on the Ark. Museum FAIL.

  Rimpelskintslut

# Bio Erm, I'm not actually selling anything. I'm still happy to take your money...just make a cheque out to Cash and mail it to Nigerian Scam HQ, c/o Gullible Greedy


If your kids annoy you, squirt them with OFF. It says right there on the can - 'For children 2 years and over. Repels for up to 4 hours'

Self-cleaning ovens, self-cleaning irons - if you were going to invent something that cleans itself, wouldn't the toilet top the list?

Yeah, it's a wine whine - you should hear my beef beef.

When I moan about the banality of reality TV people tell me "It'll grow on you". So do fungus and parasitic mites, and I despise them too.

  Irrelevantcrap

  # Bio

 

People who engage in the practice of S&M should be tied up and whipped.

I have nothing to say and I’ll say it just once.

Apparently riding on the back of the vacuum cleaner & saying 'you missed a bit ' while my wife vacuums is NOT helping.

If I was a millionaire I think I'd be a 'My glass is half empty, you're fired' kind of guy.

A 5000 piece jigsaw puzzle of a blue sky is as much fun as a misunderstanding between a rat trap and a testicle.

HAR!

I would add myself to that list, but I spend more time writing new comedy novels, retweeting something interesting and annoying my friends on twitter. So don’t follow me for humor—buy and listen to all 12 of my audionovels! That's right! I'm friggin' pimping my own work. The 12 million SEO/Marketing/Millionaire-sitting-on-my-ass twitterers aren't pimping them for me, so I have to. Ya gotta problem with it? If so, go follow Okrah.

Oh, and my work is offensive, so if yer a Puslim studying pipe-bomb 101,  or Pastor Jimbob passing the collection plate, or a missionary spreading foreign disease to hut dwellers—for your own peace of mind, hit the BACK button on your browser right now.

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I have been recording Zane all day and decided to release another sneak listen. Here is chapter four!

 

Zane-Sickle-Comic-Chapter-4

Zane-Sickle-Comic-Chapter-4 DIRECT DOWNLOAD HERE:   This contains a sneak listen at Zane Sickle: Comic/Adventurer For Hire chapter four

 

 

 

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